Forgiving the little things

Jesus said, "Love your enemies," and perhaps we think of Osama bin Laden and other terrorists. The idea of loving them - or Hitler, or Bush - is beyond us. So let's start with little steps. Not our enemies, but our irritants. The driver who cut us off in traffic. The shopper blocking the aisle with her cart. The woman in exercise class who has the perfect body. Our spouses, partners or significant others.

Dr. Fred Luskin in his book Forgive for Good, says that we can learn to forgive the big things by starting with the little ones. Forgiveness is like a muscle, it must be built up over time. When you find yourself annoyed or irritated, take three deep breaths and silently say to that person, "I forgive you, I forgive you, I forgive you."

Watch what happens in yourself. Does your irritation lift? Do you feel more happy? Does the tension in your muscles release?

Forgive for Good

I was honored recently to complete a training certification program with Dr. Fred Luskin of the Stanford Forgiveness Project, author of the books Forgive for Good and Forgive for Love. His research and that of others in the field has proven that grudges, resentments and judgments have negative effects on our health and well-being. He developed a process for letting go of the past and moving into a life of grace.

We co-presented a workshop for members of Unity Church of Hawai'i, and a few weeks later one of the participants came up to thank me. She said, "I've read all the books, taken all the workshops, watched all the DVDs. This is the first thing I've learned that actually worked." Even more powerful was the look on her face. In the past, I always had the impression she was carrying a lot of pain. On this day she looked radiant and 10 years younger!

That's why I am so excited to be sharing this work with audiences now. Contact me to learn how forgiveness and mercy can make a difference in your business, association or organization.

Granny's Guide to Having a Great Depression

Think about your parents, grandparents, or great-grandparents. The ones who lived during the great depression and the great war. Weren’t they remarkable? They called both of these horrible events “great.” That’s what made our fore-bearers great: their character, attitude, work ethic and spirit. They not only survived hard times, they thrived.

We have their genes. We can do it, too. If we listen to their advice, we can spend less, lose weight, be healthy, live green, stop global warming and achieve inner peace.

Some of this advice is common sense – but are you doing it? This program reminds you of what you always knew, and inspires you to do it. You’ll also hear new ideas from the ancients of Europe, Asia, the Pacific and the Americas, as found in the Bible, Tao te Ching, native wisdom and old proverbs.

In future posts, we'll cover how they taught us to Delight, Work, Move, Eat, Relax, Love and Pray.

New book & multi-media show of Hawaiian secrets to reduce stress

Learn how the ancient Hawaiians reduced stress and lived their lives in balance with the new book, Hawaiian Massage Lomilomi: Sacred Touch of Aloha. Available now here. The 120 stunning photographs by Emmy Award winner John Kalani Zak are part of our new multi-media show for meetings in Hawai'i. Contact us to book your next event.

Meetings Trend - Spirituality

A Vice President from PCMA (Professional Convention Management Association) said in a recent speech that meeting planners are looking for spiritual experiences for their attendees. One hot topic is forgiveness.

The ancient Hawaiians knew a lot about forgiveness and practiced it through the process of ho'oponopono. Today, there are many variations on ho'oponopono. Traditionally, ho'oponopono involved the entire family in prayer, reflection, confession, meditation, forgiveness, reconciliation and letting go. It took hours or days. Today, there are streamlined and updated versions.

During my program on "Hawaiian Secrets of Life Balance" we practice forgiveness. Many people come up later and say that it is so powerful, they already feel better, and they know their relationships will improve.

You can practice it yourself, right now. Think of someone you're angry with - or a little bit annoyed - and silently say to them, "I love you. I forgive you." Keep saying it until you feel your heart soften towards them. Keep saying it silently when you're with them, and see how they treat you. Let me know how it goes!

Lomilomi Your Life

What can we learn from Hawaiian healers about reducing stress and restoring balance in our own lives? Traditional practitioners of lomilomi engage in a way of life that is in balance. They have aloha 'aina, love of the land, so they connect with nature every day. They breathe. They practice forgiveness. And they touch people physically, emotionally, mentally and spiritually with the touch of love or aloha. You can bring that touch to your life by simply giving your loved ones heart-felt hugs every day.

Don't Exercise - Play Hard

Every morning when I walk on the beach, I see Henry. In his 70s, Henry is always happy, vibrant and alive. He swims a mile in the ocean and then walks two miles. 3 days a week he works out at the Y. To him it's not exercise, it's fun! My mother is 80 and she walks two miles a day, plays tennis and swims a couple times a week, works out at the gym, and for fun she square dances. She is the happiest person I know.

I asked my mom once how she got herself motivated to do all this. She said it's hardest first thing in the morning. She said, "Get up, put on your exercise clothes, go to the bathroom, and walk out the door. Don't think about it or you won't do it." Thanks mom!